Watch What’s the Point? on YouTube

A few minutes before I DNF’d Peaks challenge (strava), a particularly hard bike race, I asked myself an important question: What’s the point?

I didn’t have an answer.

When all you need to do is ride your bike to the finish line, asking “what’s the point?”, is not very helpful.

It’s the type of question that invariably creates more questions. Do I even like this? Why do I do this to myself? Who do I think I am? What am I getting out of this? Why am I here?

Camus would be rolling a cigarette in his grave.

It’s the type of question which needs to be questioned.

Ego

Perhaps a thought like that emerges from an ego trying to find a comfortable place to stand. Like a stressed publicist, it’s in damage control and it’s in search of a justification.

It was dramatic (I’ve lost the love, I’m quitting.) It was proud and sought validation (I’ve done a lot of training, but it wasn’t enough). It was dismissive (Things change. I’m interested in different things now. Cycling is not for me).

So when I say something like “racing isn’t that important to me”, it may not be what I really believe, rather what makes me feel good.

Preparedness

There’s also a biological reasons why get existential. When we run low on water or nutrition, our mind goes crazy. I was bonking, dehydrated and out of carbs. I hadn’t planned enough, paced enough or trained enough, and paying the price.

For your average weekend warrior, this is a simple enough problem to fix. You didn’t get the result you wanted, so you experiment, and try again. You fix your bike position. You buy new gear. You switch up your nutrition or your training plan. Pain or negative thoughts act as a pointers to help you improve.

I’d happily solve an existential problem with food, if only I could stop thinking about it.

Toughness

One day I was at a park when I overheard a mother urging her young daughter to keep running. She was flagging behind and her body language said she was seconds away from collapsing and giving up. Her mum urged her to ‘come on, get in your competitive mode’. The little girl cried out in exasperation ‘I’m trying!’.

When it comes to getting the thing done, fixing your attitude seems to deliver the largest return on investment. Ancient myths, spiritual gurus corporate slogans all urge us to keep an unwavering focus or intent on the goal and just do it.

I’d happily agree that I lacked grit, if I wasn’t so familiar with discipline and pushing myself to do physically uncomfortable stuff.

The thing is, there’s no end to how tough something can get. And for two unique people, with differing attitudes, a 5km and a 500km could feel equally as hard. And although perseverance seems to be a healthy trait that helps one to get the most out of their lives (rather than staying huddled under the covers), I think we need more than perseverance. Just because you are able to withstand a certain pressure, doesn’t mean you have to withstand it.

---

So, before we shrug our shoulders and say ‘toughen up’ or ‘get over yourself’ or ‘get back on the bike’, I’d like to ask ‘what’s the point?’ on more time.

I think we can look at this question from two different levels or perspectives.

On one level, we care (perhaps unconsciously) about short term gains, utility, getting ahead, grabbing stuff, avoiding pain, seeking pleasure. When we struggle with something hard, whether it is a 12ft brick wall we need to scale or a thank-you note we can’t put into words, we are essentially saying, I don’t want to do this. This is uncomfortable. This makes me feel bad.

But from another level, asking what’s the point could be a valid expression of frustration. Life is short. We can only do so many things. Let’s face it, genetics aside, we are all painfully individual and we may be guilty of grinding down our uniqueness into a fine paste all in the name of toughing it out.

Let’s look at two different people struggling with this question, in different ways.

Maria decides to quit her corporate law job and become a pastry chef. She’s used to working hard, but the combination of physicality and early hours are killing her. She’s struggling to learn the art of the croissant. She loves it but she also asks herself what’s the point? She misses the convenience and stability of her old life.

Miguel vows to read every day. Science says that reading makes your brain bigger and more empathetic, and he’s tired of hearing about it. He’s never been a reader, but this time he really pushes himself to make a new habit. He finds time out of his busy schedule to read, even sacrificing time with his kids. But no matter how hard he tries, it really feels forced. Sometimes he asks himself: what’s the point?

Maria works on her passion, while comfort and security tug at her. Miguel laces up his own boots, while his heart tells him he’s walking in the wrong direction. In both cases there’s a mixture of fighting demons and listening to what you actually care about.

Therefore, the challenge we face is not simply ignoring that voice that says ‘give up’ – that would be too easy. Sometimes we might have to listen to it too.