The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are so certain of themselves and wiser people so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell

Three great lies that nearly all of us tell ourselves: I’m a good driver; I have a good sense of humor; I’m a good judge of character.

Gordon Livingston

I’m certain about lots of things.
The movement of the sun.
Water freezing at 0 degrees.
The hardness of a brick.
When I drop a tennis ball, it falls out of my hand.
Every
time.
Stable.
Certain.
Lots of things are very stable and certain.

I’ve never seen a germ but I have little doubt that they exist.
Same goes with ancient cities, black holes and the damage we are doing to the earth with pollution.
I don’t know these are true in the same way as direct experience.
But I don’t spend any energy in doubting them.
There are books.
Test results.
Consensus.
We are certain about these things, for good reason.

Germans have a word for a different kind of knowing – “Kennen“
This is a knowledge different than remembering names of cities or birds.
I know that noise at a certain level becomes uncomfortable.
I know what it feels like to drink a lot of alcohol. 
I know what a dream feels like.
I’ve been there. I’ve done that.

But usually, subjective stuff is slippery.
There’s more uncertainty than how light refracts through water.
Whether or not my job is ‘right for me’.
If I should ask her out on another date.
If I should buy this cereal or that.
Or like, what is anger?
What is love?
I’m less certain about those things.

Certainty about uncertain things is very common.
Religious people are certain that some people are going to hell.
War mongers are certain they are saving their country.
Vegetarians are convinced eating meat is wrong.
Many people are convinced they have bad judgement.
Or that they are better than average drivers.
Or that they can’t speak in public.
Or that they are not good enough.

Dangerously, we tend to mix up these certainties with our sense of self.
We hear a voice that says you can’t do that.
You don’t belong here.
They don’t like you.
You’re required to do this, in this certain way.
You deserve it.
I have to.
I’ve got to.
I can’t. It’s impossible for me to do that.
And we usually listen, without thinking twice.

But when examined closely, these certainties are not very clever.
Simple.
Shabby.
Black and white.
They might point to reality, or some facts, but they aren’t true.
Like google maps.
The roads are all the same colour.
The buildings don’t look like buildings, they are simple squares and rectangles.
There’s missing details.

We get blinded by certainty.
We can’t see straight.
We’ve already decided, so we stop thinking.
We stop learning.
We have less options.
We lose flexibility.
We lose choice.

Because no matter how accurate our map is, it’s still just a map.

By all means, keep your certainties.
They’ve built up over a long period of time.
They’ve served you.
Maybe they have been passed down from your parents, and their parents and so on.
They give your life structure.
But examine them.
Maybe not the maths, engineering and medicine.
But the certainties about you.

Open up.

Think of a stream.
Place a rock in the stream.
See how the water can barely flow around it.
Now, remove the rock.
See how the water flows faster.
It doesn’t really matter if the rock is there or not. But the water can’t flow well if it’s there. Can it?
The same goes with how certain we get about ourselves.

It’s really got nothing to do with who you are.
It’s just more practical to be open minded.
Certainty limits.
Open-mindedness allows.

If you are convinced you are wrong, you are.
If you are convinced you are right, good, bad.
If you are convinced you can’t do it. Or shouldn’t do it.
It’s very hard to do something different.

When we are certain, we’ve painted ourselves into a corner.

That’s why we keep doing the same things.
Over and over.
Making the same mistakes.
Even if we try something new.
The old way comes back.
Because we haven’t changed our minds.