We’ve read the success stories. A disciplined person gets more done. A disciplined person doesn’t get distracted. A disciplined person is reliable, trustworthy and over a lifetime, can achieve incredible things.

Discipline is clearly valuable to our health, our work and the people around us.

Thanks to Joe Rogan, discipline also has a sort of cultural gravity these days, surrounded by cold plunge pools and grueling endurance events.

When I see the word discipline, I think punishment. My mind associates the concept with school detention, fines and a vague feeling of shame. I’m doing something “bad” that needs to be given up, or else. There is also the sense of renunciation, or repression, giving up something that I might actually like to do.

But is there another way to think about discipline? 

Instead of an extreme act (breath-holding) or sacrifice (sobriety), could discipline be simply not-doing stuff I don’t want to do?

Let me explain.

A phone on your desk can be irresistible for a few reasons. It’s something you’ve likely developed a habit around. It’s rewarding. It’s easy to do, and what more, there’s a clear environmental stimulus; you can literally see it out of the corner of your eye.

Let’s say, for the next hour while I’m working, I don’t want to pick up my phone, unless it’s ringing. Simple enough? No value judgments please, this is just something simple that I would like to not-do. 

I fail. At the end of the hour, I have picked up my phone three times.

I did something I didn’t want to do.

What happened?

We can look at my failure not to do something as a spectrum

1. I didn’t want to pick up your phone, and I don’t.
2. I notice myself glancing at my phone or even reaching for it, but stop myself.
3. I notice I’ve picked my phone up. Interestingly, I have a strong urge to continue scrolling. Not too long ago, I didn’t want to do this.
4. I pick up my phone say something like “what’s the harm…”

Here’s a few other examples non-intended doing from my own life:

• Tapping my phone to wake it from sleep
• Hitting snooze on my alarm
• Rushing chores like brushing my teeth
• Fidgeting while I’m in a meeting
• Stopping swimming before I hit the wall
• Peeking in the fridge when I walk past it

If we are doing these things we don’t want to do, it’s fair to say that it should be well in our power to not-do them. And not like a priest or monk might deny themselves something for the rest of their lives. No one wants to do that, or should want that. We simply want to make reasonable decisions that don’t make our lives worst. Essentially, we want to do what we want.

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This idea of pausing and placing down your phone sounds simple enough, but it’s basically the opposite of what we all generally do. There is value in doing things that satisfy our basic needs and wants, like a few minutes of reading the news or a sip of coke. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but to only seek pleasure or utility is self-defeating, as we’ve all discovered a few hours into a Netflix binge. 

Author Iain McGilchrist blames our culture. He says that when a civilization is at its height, it encourages values that transcend those of pure utility. Rome or Ancient Greece “inculcated a spirit of self-denial…a certain degree of bravery, courage, humility… moral consideration of the value of others.” This is reflected clearly in philosopher Max Shelers’ pyramid of values. 

So until mankind collectively transcends our addiction to TikTok and sugar, see if you can catch yourself doing something you didn’t want to do.