I have found life to be too short to be preoccupied with pain from the past. – Jill Bolte Taylor

On a recent meditation retreat, I spent the first few days living in the past. I finished each day in a fog, feeling like I had recounted every single missed opportunity and disappointment I’d ever experienced.

No matter what technique I used to calm down, my mind would find a new thing to feel sorry about. Eventually, it relaxed a bit and I could enjoy the last few days without too much rumination.

When we clutch hold of missed opportunities or ‘what ifs’, we can’t help but feel miserable. It’s almost like the closer things were to playing out differently, the more pain and regret we feel. 

Yet, our future is always changing based on the choices that we are making in the present. 

One place to see these probabilities play out is in our dreams.

There are many different beliefs and theories about what the images in our dreams mean. A Jungian analyst might see a car crash as a metaphor or a symbol representing an inner dynamic. A Theosophist might see a premonition, a warning to drive more carefully. Or for the majority of us, it’s random, meaningless and already half forgotten.

But what if these images reflect real possibilities? I’m not talking about the dream with the spaceship or the fire-breathing dragon. I mean the dream where you are living in a nicer house, or a different country. Banal stuff. Things that could have, or might still happen to us, depending on chance or the decisions we make.

For example, in a recent dream, I was:

• Camping with an old friend from High School
• Struggling to ride a bike
• Living somewhere in Colorado
• In a very senior, chaotic role at my company

Choosing one job over another, a promotion swinging my way, a lower level of motivation, never leaving a place I used to live. These are all probable, plausible alternatives to my life. In a metaphorical sense, they are forked code, glimpses of parallel universes. 

A sliding door dream doesn’t neccasarily paint a picture of a better life, just of a slightly different one. This can open us to new opportunities and perspectives.

And still, even if you choose to remain fixated on the past, consider that other versions of yourselves are living different, perhaps happier lifetimes, in your dreams.

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